Life is a vicious circle

Hi everyone,

Thanks Bora, Jeff and the two anonymous who commented my last post.

And if you thought I'd forgotten all about my blog because I was better...well you were actually right and wrong. I felt better during the summer (no wonder, classes were over) and now I'm going to that very same dark place again.

The only big problem that is new in my life (it's not actually a problem, it's a blessing but it kinda made things more complicated) is that I'm pregnant, and because of that I had to stop all medication. And that messed things up really bad. Until September I had no probolems because there were no students, but now, almost a month after I started, things are going pretty bad. Strong heartbeats that ake it difficult to breathe, sweating, dry mouth, headaches (very strong ones), fear of getting up in the morning and, of course, dreadful panic attacks.

I don't want to stop working but I'm so afraid that this is hurting my little girl... I'm hoping to handle it until next week and then talk to my doctor about it.

Anonymous #2 thnak you so much for sharing your story with me! It seems that you've already been through a lot, and judging by experience teacher training is a very stressful period in our lives. I never felt any symptoms until I was already teaching, but these things are very tricky and you are definitely having some problems you might not be able to solve all on your own. I don't know if you suffer from anxiety or stress or if it's actually a disorder, but what I can tell you is to please seek help. Your regular physician or even a good psychologist can help you. Maybe if you talk about what bothers you you'll feel better. And if you need any other help, they'll surely help you get it. Don't hide at home or think that you have to deal with it on your own. When my problems started I waited almost 4 months before getting help, and those were 4 very bad months of sadness and dispair. Had I looked for help earlier maybe I wouldn't be dealing with this for the past 3 years...

Let me know how it goes and I wish you the best of luck!

3 minutes to my next lesson. I'll spend them forcing me to get up and head towards the classroom. Wish me luck because my baby girl is kicking really hard and I think it's because of the stress she feels when I'm this way.

Have a good week!

xxx